Can stress cause infertility?

Can stress cause infertility?
Dr. Aniruddha Malpani Renowned infertility specialist. He runs an infertility clinic in Mumbai and has written many books.

 

Dr. Aniruddha Malpani Renowned infertility specialist. He runs an infertility clinic in Mumbai and has written many books.

Psychological and emotional factors
Historically, particularly "functional" infertility, was attributed to abnormal psychological functioning on the part of one or both members of the couple. Preliminary works in the 1940s and 1950s considered "psychogenic infertility" as the major cause of failure to conceive in as many as 50% of cases. As recently as the late 1960s, it was commonly believed that reproductive failure was the result of psychological and emotional factors. Psychogenic infertility was supposed to occur because of unconscious anxiety about sexual feelings, ambivalence toward motherhood, unresolved Oedipal conflict, or conflicts of gender identity. Fortunately, advances in reproductive endocrinology and medical technology as well as in psychological research have de-emphasised the significance of psychopathology as the basis of infertility, and modern research shows that there is little evidence to support a role for personality factors or conflicts as a cause of infertility. This perspective unburdens the couple by relieving them of the additional guilt of thinking that it is their mental stress that may be responsible for their infertility.

Mind and body both are responsible for infertility
Biologically, since the hypothalamus regulates both stress responses as well as the sex hormones, it's easy to see how stress could cause infertility in some women. Excessive stress may even lead to complete suppression of the menstrual cycle, and this is often seen in female marathon runners, who develop "runner's amenorrhea". In less severe cases, it could cause anovulation or irregular menstrual cycles. When activated by stress, the pituitary gland also produces increased amounts of prolactin, and elevated levels of prolactin could cause irregular ovulation. Since the female reproductive tract contains catecholamine receptors catecholamines produced in response to stress may potentially affect fertility, for example, by interfering with the transport of gametes through the Fallopian tube or by altering uterine blood flow.

However, more complex mechanisms may be at play, and researchers still don't completely understand how stress interacts with the reproductive system. This is a story which is still unfolding, and during the last 20 years, the new field of pychoneuroimmunology has emerged, which focuses on how your mind can affect your body. Research has shown that the brain produces special molecules called neuropeptides, in response to emotions, and these peptides can interact with every cell of the body, including those of the immune system. In this view, the mind and the body are not only connected, but inseparable, so that it is hardly surprising that stress can have a negative influence on fertility.

Stress can reduce sperm counts as well
Thus, testicular biopsies obtained from prisoners awaiting execution, who were obviously under extreme stress, revealed complete spermatogenetic arrest in all cases. Researchers have also showed significantly lower semen volume and sperm concentration in a group of chronically stressed marmoset monkey, and these changes were attributed to lower concentrations of LH and testosterone (which were reduced in the stressed group). However, how relevant these research findings are in clinical practice is still to be determined.

In addition to these direct effects, stress can also suppress libido, cause erectile dysfunction, and result in a reduction in the frequency of intercourse, which in turn could also reduce fertility. Also, many women start overeating in response to the stress of infertility. The increased fat cells then disrupt the hormonal balance, making a bad situation even worse.

While studies have shown that infertile couples do show psychologic dysfunction and even psychiatric abnormalities ( such as depression or anxiety), this is actually a chicken and egg problem, and in reality the response of the infertile couple is a perfectly "normal" response to their abnormal situation, which is designed to help them to cope with the difficult circumstances they find themselves in. However, many people start blaming the couple, and many couples themselves start believing that it is the stress which they are under which is causing them to be infertile.

Blame game
Victim blaming is popular - especially where fertility and women are concerned, and instead of providing them with support, couples receive completely gratuitous and unwanted advise. Ironically, victim blaming has become more prevalent today because of the fashionable "holistic health" belief about the influence of the mind on the body, which holds that even patients with cancer can cure themselves by the power of positive thinking. Many IVF couples too may subscribe to the belief that success is practically guaranteed if the patient remain optimistic and relaxed. Thus, if the attempt fails, it was because the patient was "too tense" or "too stressed out".

Stress and infertility often have a circular relationship, and they can aggravate each other, setting up a vicious cycle. Infertile couples, who are under stress because of their infertility, start blaming themselves for their infertility. This increases their stress levels and further aggravates the problem.

What are some methods for reducing stress?
Perhaps the best general approach for treating stress can be found in the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr, " God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference." Remember that no single method is uniformly successful: a combination of approaches is generally most effective. Also, what works for one person does not necessarily work for someone else.
There are a number of very useful books which deal with stress management techniques in great detail. A special bonus is that these tools will help you cope with stress for the rest of your life as well! Some of these tools, which you need to learn how to use, so that you can deal better with the ups and downs of your infertility include: imagery, visualisation, hypnosis, auto-suggestion, meditation, positive thinking, progressive muscular relaxation, deep breathing, biofeedback, and massage.

External and internal stress
It is helpful to differentiate between external stress and internal stress; as well as stressors you can control and those which you cannot. Internal stress arises when you are not able to achieve the goals you set yourself while external stress is created by relatives, friends, and work pressures. Some stressors you can do nothing about - for example, the frustration you feel when your period starts. However, there are many others which you can control. As an example, many patients get upset when they are forced to wait in the doctor's clinic. Waiting can be stressful, so do carry a book to read - while you cannot control the stressor, you can modify your response to it, and this helps to decrease your distress.

Dr. Aniruddha Malpani will answer your queries every fortnight.

7 steps to tying the perfect bow tie

7 steps to tying the perfect bow tie.
Tying a bow tie isn't as hard as it seems... having never tried it what would one know? In any case, you've managed to make it this far in life, so you should be able to handle tying the knot - no pun intended.

Bow down!

7 steps to tying the perfect bow tie.

Tying a bow tie isn't as hard as it seems... having never tried it what would one know? In any case, you've managed to make it this far in life, so you should be able to handle tying the knot - no pun intended. A wedding is an event that you would commonly wear a bow tie. The proper size should never be broader than the widest part of your neck and should never extend past the tips of the shirt collar.

Today, for formal occasions, many men make a great fashion statement by matching the color or pattern of their bow tie and cummerbund. Many people do not like bow ties simply because they do not know how to tie them but it turns out that a bow tie is simple to tie.

Here's 7 steps that take you through a process as easy as snapping your fingers.

Step 1: Put the tie around your neck so that end "X" (on your left) is longer than end "Y". Step 2: Cross-end "X" over the top of "Y". Step 3: Pull end "X" up and behind end "Y".

Step 4: Create a loop with end "Y". This will be half your bow. Step 5: Next, let end "X" hang in front of the loop you just formed.

Step 6: Hold everything in place, pulling end "X" behind the tie from below, then folding it in half to create the other side of the bow. Poke this loop through the space behind loop "Y."

Step 7: Voila! You've tied the tie. If it looks funny or bedraggled, adjust the tie by tugging at its ends and straightening the center knot.

One last tip: There are pre-tied ones available in the fashion stores but a word of caution before you pick one up. A general rule of thumb is that bow ties must never be perfectly tied, because part of the tie's mystique lies in its casual status. But unless you earn a living as a waiter or musician, avoid clip-on bow ties at all costs. If a pre-tied one starts to slip, your best bet is to remove it entirely and hide it in a pocket.

Are you ready for marriage?

Are you ready for marriage?
Is getting married right for you? What do you need to know about your partner before you walk down the aisle? It all begins with a search for the right spouse. There are so many expectations to match.

Are you ready for marriage?

Is getting married right for you? What do you need to know about your partner before you walk down the aisle? It all begins with a search for the right spouse. There are so many expectations to match. And so many criteria to be met. If you're thinking of getting married, it's time to ask yourself some questions. Remember, you don't want to just be married; you want to be happily married. In order for a marriage to succeed, we must seriously pause and deliberate and search for answers to some of these fundamental questions by way of introspection which may take us closer to home-truths about ourselves.

Your answers to these five questions can help you.

1. Why are you getting married?
Be honest and evaluate the reasons. Sit down and write a pro/con list about your partner and your relationship. Your list will reveal your true feelings. Don't get married to escape something in your life like loneliness or insecurity. Make marriage a positive move.

2. Do you know and trust your partner's personal history?
The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. How has your partner behaved in past relationships? With you?

3. Do you stand to lose more than you gain?
Look at the cost of your relationship.

If you have to give up your friends, career, or family, the cost is too high. 

Look at the ability to compromise and accommodate each other.

4. Prepared to play the wife or husband role?
Before you get too excited and jump into any marriage, first ask yourself if you are ready to be a wife or husband. Being a spouse is different than being a boyfriend, girlfriend or fiancé. It requires new and more responsibilities and a lot more attention. It's not that you cannot continue to be independent, but you will have to share everything and everyone that is a part of your life if you want to have a trusting and open marriage.

5. Do you respect each other's religious beliefs?
This can be a serious issue later when children come along.

Casual Sex

I don't believe in casual sex - Shamita Shetty tells all...

I don't believe in casual sex - Shamita Shetty tells all

Better known as Shilpa Shetty's little sister, Shamita Shetty made her debut with her brazen lass-act in the much-hyped Mohabbatein. Unfortunately, even though the film was a big hit, she didn't get much credit for it. Off screen too, her family had been under crisis -- her father was accused of extortion and the family saw some tough times last year. Shamita fought throughout and now her career seems to be looking up and the family is out of the shadow as well.

In an exclusive to ShaadiTimes, the glamorous Shetty babe speaks frankly on her career, sibling rivalry, marriage, love, sex and more!

Over to Shamita:

Your last film Wajah failed to make any mark on the box office. Were you disappointed?
Well, honestly I wasn't expecting anything out of it. I do my best in a film and leave the rest to the audience. It's difficult to predict what will work and what won't.

Debut in a Yashraj film is a dream-come-true for every film aspirant. But post-release you did not reap any benefit... Why did that happen?
Well, after the release of Mohabbatein I definitely expected better offers. But I wasn't very happy with the offers that came my way. Obviously when you start off with the best, other offers may seem small. But I am not saying that the films that came to me were horrible. I guess I wanted to do different kind of work. I wanted to do quality work and hence I decided to wait. Now I am having some good releases where my characters are strong and very different from each other. I think it has been worth the wait.

To become successful actresses are getting bolder on screen. Where will you draw the line?
As far as I am concerned, it really depends on the character that I am playing and also the director whom I'm working with. But I don't think so much emphasis should be given to these things in today's times. But I am not going to bare-all because I have to, for me it depends on the character I'm portraying. Like in Agnipankh, I was a pilot and there was no skin show.

How do you react to the constant comparison with your sister Shilpa Shetty?
Firstly, I think it is very silly to make comparisons. We are definitely very different from each other. Besides, she has been around a very long time and I am still new compared to her. I don't let comparisons bother me because at the end of the day she is my sister and I love her a lot.

So, no sibling rivalry?
None at all (emphatically).

What have you learnt from her?
She has been around for at least 11 to 12 years and there is a lot that I have learnt from her. I have learnt from her mistakes too. There are many small things that I have picked up from her, like tips for make-up, hair-style, clothes etc. I am lucky to have someone who is a part of the same industry.

Other than this, how is your relationship with her?
She is my best friend.

So do you entrust her with all your secrets?
Of course (smiles), she knows everything about me.

What is your opinion about marriage?
I think marriage is something very sacred and I will get into marriage only when I think that I am completely ready for it. Marriage is for keeps. It's not just love that you share with another person but the most important factor is understanding without which a relationship can't work. It involves a lot of compromises from both partners.

When do you see marriage coming for yourself?
Well, to be very honest, not for a long time.

Do you believe in an arranged match?
No! (Laughs) I am a romantic at heart and would want to marry a person I am in love with. I don't know about arranged marriages... but you know what? Never say 'never'. I don't know what's in store for me.

When was the first time you fell in love?
Well (thinking), I don't think I ever fell in love (laughs). (Else) It should have lasted right?

Are you seeing someone at present?
Not at the moment. I am absolutely single!

What is 'love' for you?
It's a different feeling. You have someone to talk to, to share the things that happened during the day, every small little detail. There is a feeling of security that you get when you're in a relationship -- someone to worry about you, pamper you when you are low or tired, it is a lovely feeling.

Sex has become very casual especially for teenagers. How do you look at it?
Firstly for the teenagers, I think one has to be responsible for this step. It shouldn't be taken casually. I have never believed in casual sex.

What is your idea of an ideal husband?
My father! (Laughs). Well, I would expect my husband to be very understanding. Someone who would be a calming factor in my life! I have a very bad temper and I don't want someone who has an equally bad temper. Also someone who will understand and respect my work as that is very important to me. Apart from that, someone who makes me feel special all the time.

Anshul Vijayvargiya

Friendship

There are few relationships which are as emotionally satisfying as good friendship. Our busy schedules and family life make it difficult to maintain existing friends, let alone make new ones. If you look back to the last time you made a good friend, it is quite possible that it must have been in college. Even in our work life, corporate competitiveness and heavy workloads hardly let relationships grow. We get caught in the rut of office and home with little time for anything else.

Now, we are living in a new era of online relationships. This era provides us with quick and easy ways to find friends with similar interests and backgrounds. We at Fropper.com are working on bringing like-minded people together for building lasting friendships. Come expand your circle of friends to the rest of the world.

Below are some guidelines that may help you find a friend.

Don't stop at the first contact:
If you are interested in developing a friendship, you need to regularly make contact with the person you want as a friend. If a person doesn't reciprocate contact, the person probably isn't interested in a friendship. The initial contact is only the first step.

Share experiences:
Talk to each other about work, hobbies and life etc. Go out together, watch movies and share the highs and lows of your life. Basically do things together. The more you share, the more comfortable you become with one another. This brings you closer to your friend.

Make an effort to be around (propinquity):
The more you are around a person, the more you are likely to be noticed. The person has to notice you, talk to you, and, ultimately, spend time with you. Hang out at the person's favorite places and initiate moments together.

Give it time:
It takes time for friendship to develop, it doesn't happen overnight. You both need to understand and get to know each other. There also has to be a certain level of trust between the both of you. You can never stop working on a friendship. Only time will tell, who will remain a friend.

Little things matter:
You may not realize it but remembering a birthday, anniversary, sending a card or a gift makes a difference. The person feels wanted and it's nice to be nice to others. It shows that you care.

There are no set instructions on how to build friendships and then within hours have a friend. The list of things one can do to be a friend are numerous, which is why it's difficult to explain how to make friends and more importantly, how to keep them. Moreover, what works in one friendship might change over time and might not work in another friendship.

A friend is life's most treasured gift, so go on, get one and enjoy the incredible experience called friendship!

Some astonishing gemstones

Some astonishing gemstones

1. Ruby
The ruby was called 'Ratnaraj' or 'King of Gems' in ancient India. Amongst the rarest and most expensive gemstones in the world, the ideal colour is a highly fluorescent red of high intensity. With its brilliant crimson hue, the stone is most often associated with passion and love.

2. Zircon
Zircon's high refractive index makes it one of the most brilliant of all gemstones. The stone's fire and sparkle can rival that of most other precious gems. It is a highly durable stone and an ideal inlay gem for ornaments.

3. Topaz
The name 'Topaz' is thought to be derived from the Sanskrit word 'Tapas', meaning fire. However, in all likelihood, the word probably comes from the island of Topazos in the Red Sea.

4. Sapphire
Said to be celestial in origin, the sapphire has been treasured for thousands of years. The stone has long symbolised truth, sincerity, and faithfulness. Legend has it that Moses was given the Ten Commandments on tablets of sapphire.

5. Emerald
The word 'Emerald' is derived from the Greek word 'Smaragdos', meaning green stone. Believed to empower the wearer with insight into the future, the emerald is supposed to symbolize youth, rebirth and immortality.

6. Opal
Most opals are more than sixty million years old. Opals are among the few stones that are sedimentary in origin. The water content in opals is a remnant of ancient seas. The opal's most striking quality is its ability to refract and reflect specific wavelengths of light.

7. Peridot
Associated with the sun, the peridot is believed to have the power to break evil spells and dispel dark myths. The stone is also said to bestow foresight and divine inspiration on its wearer.

8. Aquamarine
With its name derived from the Latin word for seawater, the aquamarine is said to be a traditional symbol of youth, hope, health and fidelity. An extremely rare precious stone, the aquamarine's very scarcity makes it valuable.

9. Amethyst
The amethyst is found in every shade from light lavender to deep purple. With purple being a symbol for royalty, the stone can be found in the British crown jewellery and in the ancient ornaments of the Pharaohs of Egypt.

10. Tourmaline
According to folklore, the tourmaline protects its wearer against many dangers and misfortune. It is said to ward off fear and negativity, and inspire self-confidence. Variously coloured tourmalines are used to treat chakras of corresponding hues.

11. Garnet
The ancient Greeks named this gem after the pomegranate for its rich colour. The gem's roots as a precious stone hark back to the Nile Delta in 3100 BCE, where Egyptian artisans would craft beautiful garnets into beads or inlay them into hand-wrought jewellery.

Tonight's the night

Tonight's the night

Here are some not-to-be-missed tips for wooing her right on the big night.

Wobbly knees, butterflies in your tummy, sweating palms and an aching heart... no you're not having a stroke! It's just the wedding-night syndrome. Whether a bride or a groom, young or not-so-young, first-timers or experienced - it really doesn't matter. The wedding night is a BIG affair for everyone and you really don't want to mess it up. So forget being shy and plan for the big night.

Home or hotel?
The first decision you need to make is whether you want to celebrate your first night at home or book a hotel room? Some families have a tradition whereby the first night is always celebrated at home. There are rituals that precede the event and involve the entire family. In such a case, you probably don't have much choice, especially if you want to maintain peace in the family. Also, if your budget doesn't allow it, it would be better to celebrate at home than rent some dingy room in a cheap motel.

On the other hand, if you are living in a joint family and don't have an attached bathroom and a dressing room - then a hotel it has to be! Can you imagine your blushing bride in her wedding night attire going to the washroom and running into her mother-in-law or God forbid her father-in-law?

The plus point about a hotel is that it provides great ambience and, therefore will be relaxing after a hectic wedding schedule. Being away from the prying eyes of well-meaning family and friends and getting some much-needed privacy guarantees some great moments.

Now or later?
Yes, we know that sounds really daft since we're talking about 'the wedding night' also called 'the first night'. However, you might want to plan exactly when you want to celebrate it. Some communities actually have a custom, which doesn't allow the couple to spend the first night post marriage together. The couple is required to visit the temple early next morning and only subsequently can the marriage be consummated. You may also want to postpone your big night if the days preceding it have been very hectic, unless you want to sleep through it... literally!

Also, if you are leaving for your honeymoon the day after your wedding or even a couple of days later, your big night may well be reserved for the honeymoon. Because then you would definitely be in a hotel room with no family or friends (we hope!) and already in a relaxed frame of mind. That bodes well for things to come.

Caresses and chocolates
Women are sentimental creatures when it comes to gifts. Well, may not be true all the time, but certainly in most cases. So the bottom line is use every excuse to give her a gift. The wedding night gift is a great idea and the gratitude with which you will be thanked should make it worth your while. Jewellery, lingerie, a new car and other expensive things work real well. If you don't want to spend much, then you can try being creative in personalising the gift. A book of romantic poems with a love letter, something you've written or painted, a memorable or funny photograph of the two of you. A lipstick, deodorant, perfume, t-shirt, stuffed toy, diary or such teeny-bopper stuff is OUT.

And last but not the least, don't forget the chocolates! What, you didn't think that was important? You don't know women yet. They want chocolates for all occasions - good or bad, happy or sad! Besides, chocolates are believed to be an aphrodisiac! Some people say chocolate tastes better than sex... what better time to find that out for yourself than now?

Ambience for romance
If you're at a hotel the ambience is already set. You could get her a dozen long-stemmed roses and add a few candles around the room to set the mood. If you are planning this at home then remember to be subtle. She doesn't want you to 'decorate' the room in an overtly sensual manner because family and friends will be present and it could get embarrassing for her. In some communities, the sister-in-law actually decorates the room for her bhabhi and presents her with an outfit to wear for the night. At home, flowers are the best bet. You may want to light candles and play soft music once you have some privacy.

Again, if you're at a hotel the food should be no problem. A light dinner is a good idea. Make sure you request for some champagne and strawberries - bubbly is a good way to calm the wedding-night jitters. At home too keep the dinner light and retire early. Your mother may want to foist the 'badam ka doodh' (almond milk) on you but that's entirely your preference.

Dressing down
Since she has probably spent days or even months figuring out what she is going to be wearing, you really don't want to show up in your boring baniyan and briefs. You also don't want to be wearing a silk robe and looking like you're about to devour her. Keep it casual yet clean. A pair of briefs with a white tee or casual lounge pajamas should do the trick. If you are really lucky then she's actually expressed a preference.

Also, if you've fantasised about seeing her in some lacy lingerie it's okay for you to buy some for her. You can either gift it to her beforehand if you want her to wear it for you or it can be your wedding night gift to her, and therefore to yourself.

Playing it safe
Discuss about contraception and be sure how you would like to protect yourself so that you enjoy the romance longer before the stork arrives! Need we say more?

Pooja Mittal-Aggarwal

Tea and coffee do not discolour lips

The most common cause of darkening of the lower lips is due to biting of the lower lip, please avoid doing that.

Dr. Jamuna Pai Leading cosmetologist who runs her own cosmetic clinics in Mumbai. Have a question? Click here...

Acne only on cheekbones

Nikhat asks,
I'm 23 years old. I have combination skin. For past 5-4 months I'm getting acne particularly on both my cheekbones only. I don't eat any oily stuff. At present I stay in Doha-Qatar where the climate is really harsh and humid at times. It's really embarrassing for me. Could you please help me out with this problem or suggest me some remedial measures.
Dear Nikhat,
Eating oily food causes acne is a popular myth that is difficult for one to break. Acne is a result of excessive oil secretion, which is in turn influenced by hormones. Hormonal changes occur in adolescence and that's why acne is seen during the teens. These hormonal changes can also occur with stresses, excessive sweating can also be the cause in many cases. For simple measures wash your face with soap suitable for oily skin. Keep your skin dry and oil free. You can use a multani mitti pack (fullers earth) twice a day. Applying benzoyl peroxide at night will dry up the pimples faster. If the pimples continue in spite of this please consult you dermatologist to investigate you appropriately.

Laser treatment

Sakshi Basu asks,
Doctors have diagnosed me as having Hirsiutism. I got my periods 4 years ago and since then it's not been regular. I am 20 years old now. I used to take fincar, ovral L ,and ginette 35, but of no use. I've tried this for 2 years. I've a pleasing face but the thick hair on me makes me look manly. I thread the hair everyday and my chin looks all wounded. I am very thin and weigh 46 kgs. Please help me I am very depressed. Will unani or any alternative medicine help me? Also when I was young I was very fair and now I've lost my colour. Please advice me as to how I can become fair.
Dear Sakshi,
What you are suffering from is a hormonal imbalance, which results in extra male hormone production in the body. All women have both female and male hormones in their bodies but in these cases the male hormone becomes more predominant and hence male like features like coarse hair develops. The treatment you are getting is neutralizing the effect of the male hormone and your hair may get finer as a result but will not go away. You need to get your hair lasered whilst you on are on your hormonal medication. Please approach a dermatologist who will tell you which will be suitable for you, the diode or the Nd:Yag Q-switched laser.

Discolouration of lips

Kirthi asks,
I am a 25 years old girl. The lower edges of my lower lip are dark. The rest of my lips are pink. How do I get this removed since I am getting married in a few months? I don't drink coffee or tea or beverages I drink lots of water. Can you suggest if there are any bleaches or fairness cream.
Dear Kirthi,
Drinking tea and coffee has absolutely nothing to do with the shade of your lips. The most common cause of darkening of the lower lips is due to biting of the lower lip, if you are doing that, consciously or unconsciously, please avoid doing that. Drying of the skin can also make it look darker. Sometimes certain lip balms can contain sensitising agents, which can result in the discolouration of lips. Use Vaseline for your lips and avoid any bleaching agents altogether. Evening primrose oil and vitamin c capsules taken orally will also help.

Accident scars on the face

Atul Dalvi asks,
I recently met with an accident while driving bike and my left face got lacerated (cheek bone portion). The wound got healed but has left a brown scar (small patch mark) on my face. This was a superficial injury and the wound was not so deep or any skin depression as such. I am using lacto calamine. Kindly advice.
Dear Atul,
If it is a superficial scar, it will heal well in due course of time. Using lacto calamine has little benefit as it is a soothing agent and the only role it will play her is to prevent further tanning from the sun when applied during the day. Using creams containing retinoic acid, hyaluronic acid etc at night can help to remodel the scars.

Curly and rough hair

Ranu Vaish asks,
I'm 28 years old; my hair is very curly and rough. I apply mild shampoo with conditioner and henna fortnightly, but it doesn't help much. Second problem is my skin is very oily.
Dear Ranu,
Curly and rough hair requires a good nourishing conditioner. Now a days leave on conditioners are available which can also be used in your case. A natural conditioner is a combination of coconut and olive oil, which should be left on the hair for an hour and then washed off. Henna is good food for your hair but will only dry your hair further. Curds or egg yolks would be natural alternatives if you want to try the same. Also, evening primrose oil capsule taken orally would help to a certain extent. Oily skin can be countered with good oil control soap. Using a multani mitti (fuller's earth) pack in rose water twice to thrice a week will also help. You can do this just prior to going out to give your skin a healthy tone.

Dr. Jamuna Pai will answer your queries. Ask now!

Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes

The angry young man of the small screen - Harsh Chaaya

The angry young man of the small screen - Harsh Chaaya

There are some stars and some actors. And this is what separates the boys from the men. Harsh Chaaya is one such actor. One of the finest we have today. But like all good actors he has yet to receive his share under the sun. He is known as the angry young man of the small screen.

Harsh has not been written about much as he is not very happy talking about himself. Meeting up with the reticent actor on the sets of Astitva was exhilarating. On topics ranging from career moves, to his life and his life partner, a very articulate Harsh spoke from the heart.

In this free wheeling interview we trace his personal as well as professional growth. And what is it that makes him tick.

The acting bug
It's kind of strange but I always wanted to act. I remember when I was six I wanted to be on stage. I just like the feel of being on stage with 2000 people watching you. Though it was a small part I opted for it because I wanted to do it.

There was no stage fear. I just liked the whole thing. Unlike others who get inspired to act when they see other actors on screen, I wanted to be in films as I wanted to act.

No heroics
I could never identify with the heroes in films and hence never aspired to be one. Actually I got into full time acting only when I saw works of Naseeruddin Shah, Shyam Benegal, Om Puri, Smita Patil. That is when I identified myself as an actor in films. But, when I came to Mumbai, the movement had died. And I couldn't identify myself in commercial cinema at all. At the same time I started getting work in television.

Harsh ko gussa kyon aata hai
I have this no-nonsense attitude and that creates a problem. I don't feel I have to be Mr. Nice all the time.

As far as television is concerned I don't take too many assignments. I am very particular about my work as I am very finicky about the people I work. And Mumbai has very typical people. If you work with them they take you for granted, they rule over you, especially if you are a new comer. I used to get into lots of hassles with people. As a result I would work for 6 months and then just drop out. Over a period of time, I became very choosy. I created lots of restrictions for myself and for a very long time I was not confident about doing films. If at all I felt that I was serious about the 70 mm screen it is only since the last 4 or 5 years. In television you may be doing a character role, but this would be the main part. But in cinema there is only one hero and everybody else revolves around him. So for a long time I was not very keen on doing this. Friends began to advice that I should start accepting all kinds of work to remain visible. Hence during the past three years I have taken on these bit roles.

Biwi o Biwi
Married to actress Sunita a TV actress in Calcutta whose first film was The City of Joy, they are a very-much-in-love couple.

"I may come across as cold and reserved. But it is just that I am not too expressive about myself. I am not capable of being able to express as openly as I want to," confesses the actor. "Sunita on the other hand is a very different kind of a person. She is very open, and says whatever she thinks. As we are in the same profession we do have a lot to discuss and debate. We have worked together but she feels that I am not helpful as a co-actor as she likes to plan and discuss a scene in detail. I like to take it as it comes."

Shaadi ka Astitiva
I think the most misunderstood thing is trying out a formula for a good marriage. There are no right ingredients that you can put together for a marriage to work. It is not as simple as you think. It is two different people brought up in two different atmospheres and hence absolutely foolish that all through life two people will think alike. A couple staying together for 24 hours, will feel good about each other, there will be moments when they will feel very emotional about each other and there will be moments when they will feel bored with each other or they won't like each other.

You need to try and understand all this, and then probably the marriage will work. It is a tight ropewalk.

Nowadays, values are changing and it's better if you walk out if things don't work out.

Ambition
I am ambitious, like if I reach a point where I am able to afford a Mercedes I may buy it, but I am not going to work my ass out day and night to get a Merc. But if there is some good work, I would go out of my way and ask for it.

No Insecurity
No it doesn't worry me, because I am not a hero. What really frustrates me is that as an actor I have just about used 25% of my talent.

Success
For me success is good work, you should be able to earn your money, to manage the worldly things that make life comfortable and to be able to have a relationship that works.

Jaahnavi P Paal