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October 26, 2007
In Black And White With Sachin Sharma
Sachin Sharma became a common household name with popular daily soaps like Vaidehi and Sindoor.
In Black And White With Sachin Sharma
Sachin Sharma has become a common household name with his presence in popular daily soaps like Vaidehi, Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and Sindoor. He recently made his debut on the big screen with Mummyji. The handsome hunk has adopted Krishna as his screen name. Sipping a diet coke, Krishna speaks to Shaaditimes.
Film: All films
Singer: Sonu Nigam and Sunidhi Chauhan
Director: Steven Spielberg
Gadget: Anything that can attach to my laptop
Game: Basketball
Colour: Black
Love: My mother
Hate: Nothing really
Turn ons: Good Music
Turn offs: Attitude
Are you a fitness freak? No I am not. (Laughs) In fact I am a complete foodie. I love junk food- pizzas, burgers etc
Can you cook? Yes I can. I can make good Parathas. I had to learn as a punishment during my school days and now it really helps!
| Vaibhavi V. Pradhan | Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes |
October 26, 2007 in Celebrity Talk | Permalink
Perfect 10 For A Good Marriage Part III - Honesty
Is being truthful all that is required for a successful and happy marriage? Or does honesty mean more?
We've all heard shoals about how honesty is the best policy. But we usually translate this as merely being truthful. When asked a question, don't lie! But this perception of honesty isn't entirely relevant to, nor does it suffice to build a good marriage.
Following my take on respect in marriage last time, it isn't easy to value someone you feel is dishonest. On the other hand, honesty begets respect and keeps the love flowing. Why?
Honesty entails a lot more than stating a fact. It means you're willing to share all of you - not just a part of you - with your partner. It's about sharing your feelings, thoughts and plans, about your past, present and future, so that together, you build a life you both cherish.
Think about it. If you're not honest, how will your spouse ever understand what you don't like about him/her, and accordingly make adjustments?
Express honesty tactfully, not thoughtlessly
We all like to think that we're honest, or at least mostly so. But expressing honesty is a knack one needs to learn. When absent, it causes the disclosure to feel more like a slap on the face, than an effort to share oneself. Remember, you're out to create more intimacy in the relationship not loose what you already have.
The trick to expressing yourself tactfully is to learn how to do it. Say it - while staying calm, respectful and amiable. More importantly, adopt the same qualities when hearing out your partner.
Of course, some subjects are sensitive, while others are painful and hard to digest. Honesty in such situations can be difficult to say the least. It is then time to ask yourself whether you can face reality without flinching? Have you realized that marriage isn't a cakewalk?
In their book, Making Your Second Marriage A First-Class Success, Douglas and Naomi Moseley say, "Anybody who runs away, collapses, counterattacks, or otherwise defends when an unpalatable message comes their way has lapsed into a child state."
'Grin and bear it' versus honesty?
This 'child state' is when dishonesty creeps in, to please the other, to support a reality that is convenient, as opposed to one that truly is. Those who perceive complaining (read whining) about day-to-day issues as one of the strict no-no's of marriage also advocate dishonesty in such scenarios to keep the peace.
Sadly, this only shifts the problem to the back burner. Worse, it slowly lets the euphoria of having found the love of your life slip away. While nagging is certainly a no-no for a happy marriage, so is 'sacrifice'. Try tactful honesty instead.
If you can't be honest with your life partner, who will you be honest with?
So - when compatibility becomes an issue, don't look the other way and suffer inside. Work towards a mutually agreeable solution, well aware of each other's strengths and weaknesses.
The problem with the 'grin and bear it' approach - even towards petty thoughts - is that it causes the malaise to fester within. And odds are that it will erupt one day to wreak havoc in your marriage.
Instead, if you could improve your marriage simply by being honest, you wouldn't feel the need to look elsewhere for your emotional or physical needs. Isn't this much easier?
P.S. - To place your cards on the table, by being honest, is to be trustworthy. More on 'trust' next week.
| Charu Bahri | Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes |
Read more articles by this author
More 'Intimacy & Romance'
- Stay At Home, Get Naughty
- Perfect 10 For A Good Marriage Part VI - Creativity
- Perfect 10 For A Good Marriage Part V - Fidelity
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October 26, 2007 in In Focus | Permalink
Sweta And Alexx: The Indo-Dutch Foxtrot
Set to be married soon, Jodi No.1 are setting the Nach Baliye stage ablaze.
Nach Baliye 3 has given popular actress Sweta Keswani and her half-Irish-half-Dutch boyfriend Alexx O'Neil their first chance to work together. Alexx is not conversant in Hindi but he has tasted Bollywood with his brief roles in Cheeni Kum and Loins of Punjab Presents where he spoke only English.
Set to be married soon, Sweta and Alexx are setting the Nach Baliye stage ablaze. Their fusion performance where Alexx pulled off being a pundit from the south of India gave them glorious accolades. Let's hear it for the couple that is fusion personified.
How did you meet?
Sweta: We met at a party through a common friend and got to know each other gradually. We started dating much later where I had to tell him to take a call and ask me out or I would be gone.
How has it been to work with your life mate?
Sweta: It has been strange working with him. Since we come from such different fields, we never thought we would work together. But now our fields and work are colliding.
How has the Nach Baliye experience been so far?
Sweta: Hectic. We are always exhausted. We crave to watch movies, to party with our friends and to do normal things.
Alexx: It has been strange for me since Nach Baliye started. In the initial months my microwave broke, then my air conditioner broke, everything broke. There was no food and I had to eat out everyday. When I finally did get a new microwave, the old one strangely started to work. So it has been a strange combination of good luck and bad luck.
Who is more creative among the two of you?
Alexx: I think both of us are. One comes up with a string and then we cut through with our own ideas. Let me tell you, we can't choose our songs. They say we can change them but it doesn't really happen. But I guess that is part of the creativity... to work on something that is given to you.
What qualities do you appreciate in him?
Sweta: His honesty, simplicity and affection.
What qualities do you appreciate in her?
Alexx (like an excited, doting lover): Her thoroughness with thoughts. She plans very well and is a good opposite for me because I don't plan. She has that spark. She came to Mussoorie to see me once. That was an 18-hour journey by air, bus and more. She reached when I was eating lunch and you would think she wanted to chill. But she simply picked me up and we spent all day seeing everything there was to see in Mussoorie.
She is also straight forward, which I really admire about her. There are many people in this field who lie but she'll say everything on the face. I could go on and on about her.
The qualities that you don't like about him?
Sweta: His laziness. He is always late. Has no sense of timing.
The qualities that you don't like about her?
Alexx: I would want her to be more patient. Sometimes she snaps and forgets how difficult it is for me because of my background. She wants everything to be perfect - the expression, timing and everything. But she just needs a quiet reminder.
Stress on the sets?
Sweta: I blow my fuse very often. At that time he goes quiet and just lets me be. But I think we deal with it pretty well. We let go very soon. We don't hold a grudge for more than 10 minutes. Life is too short for that.
Alexx: I think we deal a lot better than the other couples. I don't know how they do it. Kiran and Ritu (Janjani) had a whole fight on the reality section. But I don't know how they do it.
Has Nach Baliye helped your relationship?
Sweta: Yes, I think it has. We have become so accommodating that we have no conflict to give to the audience. There are so many clashes among the other couples but we never have them.
Your most romantic moment?
Sweta: We love sitting next to the beach. Have a soup or take a drink. I would love to go back to Goa and sit by the beach as the waves come and go. Wow!
Alexx (grins): The most romantic time we had was when I proposed to her. But I can't tell you about it.
How's the dancing been?
Sweta: Tough ya. Alexx has been better than me. He doesn't leave anything to chance. He has never done this before so he has a lot of fright and is more careful. I'm not saying I'm confident but stage fright gets the best of me.
Alexx: Dancing on the stage hurts your back, your legs and your brains. It is a lot of work. It takes over your life.
What are you hoping from the show?
Sweta: I don't know. We have a lot of expectations but no hope. We don't want to be impractical because this is totally new for Alexx. It also depends on the audience and the fans. If they like what we present then we stand all the chances. But we have no expectations so that we don't land up getting hurt.
| Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes |
October 26, 2007 in Made for Each Other | Permalink
Desi Designer, International Imagination!
Create a new aura and re-ignite your passion and oomph! Neeta Paul's creations are exactly what you need.
This Diwali if the spark is waning in your diya, and the zest of the festival is falling by the wayside - turn "humdrum" to chutzpah. Dare to be the best you can be. Create a new aura and re-ignite your passion and oomph! Neeta Paul - The desi designer with an International imagination is exactly what you need.
Shaaditimes introduces international designer Neeta Paul's Maharaja Collection for Karwa Chauth and Diwali 2007.
The understated elegance of her clothing strikes the right chords balancing that ephemeral area of Kipling's east and west. Delicately feminine, meticulously sewn, the garments are whimsical yet practical, durable yet opulent, wearable yet exclusive.
The Maharaja Collection
Paul's latest collection updates the opulence of the Maharaja time with pragmatism and genius. Her atelier boasts of richly embedded weaves in brocades, silks, heavy twills and luxurious satins. There are angarkhas (modelled after Mughal-e-Azam), achkans that cascade to ankle length, and updated Nehru jackets over stylised pants, flared and long skirts. Her signature tunic, pants and scarf are a staple among Delhi's socialites and have found a niche clientele following in North America and Europe.
"The colours for my recent collection are a reflection of my personality," admits Paul. "I have chosen earthy hues ranging from the crisp ochres, opaque rusts and browns. I have also worked on a separate colour base of deep cyans, aubergines and vermilions."
Like most designers, Paul, has not discarded the black, white and beige spectrum. "These are eternal. White is evergreen. It's so fresh and can be worn anywhere and anytime even at night. And the beiges are always being re-invented with dull gold work or glamorised with silver zardosi, sequence, crystals or precious gems." This year she has used a discerning combination of bead sequence work, traditional mirror work, tila and zardosi embroidery in addition to antique silver and precious stonework.
Paul's Maharaja Collection completes the rainbow by touching on the blues. "Royal Blue and Navy are also highlighted with Kashmiri style embroidery."
So if the swish of silks, the sashay of brocades and the chance to own an individually crafted garment causes your imagination to pique, visit Paul's boutiques or contact her online. If you are lucky, you may meet her in person.
Her creations are an imprint of her signature style and her vision is instilled in each one of a kind garment. And that what makes a Neeta Paul creation different. Neeta Paul.
Her outfits are available at showrooms in Sanik Farms and Saket (New Delhi) and in Canada. Plans to open showrooms in the US and London are underway. You can order clothes from her latest range from neetapaulfashions@yahoo.com. Orders take about a couple of weeks to process. Price range INR 6000 and up - excluding shipment.
| Rohini Bhatia-Singh | Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes |
October 26, 2007 in Fashion | Permalink
Henna - The Colour Of Love
This Karwa Chauth take a look at gorgeous henna designs of Bollywood celebrities on their wedding day.
Henna or Mehendi is one of the sixteen beautifying tactics or 'solah shringaars' employed by women to look their gorgeous best. It is also one of the rituals associated with the most important fast of the year - Karwa Chauth.
With Karwa Chauth round the corner, the mehendiwaalis are flooded with clients' calls. The demands of the season are reflected in the rates being charged - The normal charges of INR 50 per hand have been doubled to INR 100 per hand and can cost as much as INR 7000 for newly-wed brides celebrating their first Karwa Chauth.
With the art gaining popularity not just in India, but also abroad and finding favour with International brides like Liz Hurley, applying henna is no longer as simple as it used to be. In olden days mehendi was created from the mehendi or henna leaves, but now different materials like nail polishes, inks and even sketch pens being used to apply mehendi. Designs that traditionally included peacock and kairi motifs have now given way to tattoo mehendi, zardozi mehendi and crystal mehendi.
Shaaditimes meets up with Veena Nagda - undoubtedly the most coveted of all mehendi artists in the country today. Veena has the distinction of applying mehendi to Bollywood A-listers like Karisma and Kareena, Kajol, Hrithik, Rani, Sridevi and even the illustrious Liz Hurley!
This Karwa Chauth, as you get ready to henna your hands and feet, check out pictures of Celebrity mehendi designs and take your pick.
| Vaibhavi V. Pradhan | Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes |
October 26, 2007 in Celebration | Permalink
October 18, 2007
Sharmila Tagore: Royal Tigress
Marriage is like people; each one is different. Saif has to find his own way.
Dressed in casual slacks, cosy socks and a sleek pullover amidst rich background music piping classical overtures, the legendary "La Tagore" looks just that - simply "royal".
The understated, coy and sultry actress is on location during a hectic one-month schedule in Canada for award-winning Director Nagesh Kukanoor's forthcoming thriller 8/10.
During the course of our conversation and the day we spend together, I am mesmerized by her joie de vivre, her no nonsense approach to life, and her knowledge extending from current events, sports and arts.
Shaaditimes catches up with Sharmila Tagore
In a courageous step "older" Indian woman are now being depicted on screen in a manner where chronology does not imply the withering away of usefulness. Where stereotypes can be shrugged off and older woman can celebrate their femininity without apology. What do you think of it?
We are making strides in showing real women in real situations on screen, but we have a long way to go. Stereotypes are hard to resist and the Hindi film industry still limits the opportunities for older actresses as it is still a youth based industry where roles for women are regulated to mothers or courtesans.
The Indian media has traditionally centred on main themes related to family. As a result, the probing inquisition of the cameras doesn't stop in theatres?
Being a public figure in India has many privileges but it can also be invasive. We are a media dominated society. Hungry for news. Happy families are boring. And in a way unhappy is an aberration that the media celebrates.
Although many celebrities reach iconic status in India there almost seems to be a microscopic obligation to place your valued priorities to the public. And that seems to be an obligation of celebrity these days. Plus most people would rather believe the worst of you anyways (she laughs).
How have you maintained your private life in a fishbowl for so many years?
Well, you have to have a private and a public face. You have to mould your behaviour to public expectations and at the same time you have to live your life.
Marriage is like people; each one is different. We are lucky... I know ours worked out. Both my husband and I share the same interests. It has not been perfect. We've had our ups and downs. We're together.
Has it been difficult to raise a family in the public eye?
I think the children are prepared. I think we have brought them up with an awareness to lead a life of dignity. With self-esteem nothing to hide, and no need to expose too much of themselves. I believe I've given them options in their life, security and love.
Are your children like you?
My children are different than me. I was brought up in an educated middle-class background, while my children have been brought up with privileges that in many ways they take for granted. Servants...air-conditioning. They are good children. But they aren't like me.
What would be the main difference in your mind?
They're not as hungry as me. I am extremely competitive and ambitious. Even now, I am still a perfectionist. My daughter Soha told me recently, 'I don't want to conquer the world'.
I have never forced my children to enter in the film world. That was their choice. Soha is different from me. She has yet to show her potential although she has done some good films like Rang De Basanti and Ahista Ahista. She has very beautiful eyes and is a sensitive person.
On Saif:
Saif I think has proved himself especially of late with his performance in Omkara.
Any advice you have offered to them?
No. I don't think they would listen. Plus I think Saif has to find his own way (mildly referring to his broken marriage with actress Amrita Singh and his recent break-up with long-time girlfriend Rosa).
Women have always been revered in the Pataudi family. My husband's father died when he was a young adult. Thus, my mother-in-law had to raise four children single-handedly. Also my husband's family hails from Bhopal where traditionally Begum's ruled (she laughs).
Have the expectations been different being married in royalty?
No. My husband would rather like that we spend quality time with each other rather than having me make dinner or pack for him. He believes that is not necessary.
How have women changed in India?
Women are changing like our country. They are travelling more. There is a sense of freedom in their achievements. Women are more economically independent. And Indian women are better off than their counterparts in this part of the world if you compare to countries such as Bangladesh, Pakistan, Iran and Lebanon.
Also you have to remember we come from a traditional patriarchal background. A woman still needs her father, her husband, her brother and son. Moreover, although we have moved forward many stereotypical biases remain.
You just have to watch television and you see the Sahas-Bahu spectacles and dramas where the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law play a game where both lead imperfect lives. Although we wish for women to support one and other, in reality we harm each other too. And most times as they show in television and the movies it is to gain a man's favour by playing a man's game.
Men may relegate women to the back yet there is no denying they are still the glue that holds a family together and are the backbone of a man's life especially in India.
Rapid Round
Favourite travel destination: My husband and I recently travelled to South Africa on the Ravos Rail steam engine. It was a luxury cruise on wheels literally.
Secrets of marriage: There are no secrets. You cannot force anyone to stay in a relationship. And you don't get brownie points for staying. You have to simply respect the ideals of mutual respect, compassion and tolerance.
Saas- Bahu relationships: No comment. After Saif's break-up with Amrita we got disconnected. She blamed us for certain things, but like any parent what could we have done. She moved away. Of late when Saif was in the hospital things seem to be better.
Favourite movie acted in: Safar 1975.
Favourite co-star: All of them. Sanjeev Kumar in Mausam was dear to me. He never found the perfect woman, but he wasn't sad. He might have been lonely.
I loved working with Kaka (Rajesh Khanna), Dharm-ji, Shashi and Amit-ji.
Favourite female actress: I've always respected Waheeda Rehman and Nutan.
Today's favourite actresses: I love Konkona Sen, Vidya Balan and Tabu. Among the older actresses I love Kirron Kher.
Real women icons: Padmanaidu - Indira Gandhi's sister-in-law. She was Sarojini Naidu's daughter. She was beautiful in the model sense, but she was fascinating, intelligent and beautiful... almost lyrical to listen.
I also enjoyed meeting Mother Teresa. She was very strong, courageous and very focused. Other women luminaries that I respect include: the social worker - Leela Bhatt.
Favourite things: Travelling, nature, gardening, flowers, music and books. Most of all I like my freedom.
What do you want in life? To be wanted.
On the cards: My autobiography.
Favourite garment: Sari.
Favourite country: France.
Favourite food: Bengali.
Favourite restaurant: Bukhara, Delhi.
Favourite music: Western Classic, Old Indian Film Songs.
Favourite singer: Begum Akhtar.
Favourite actor: Saif, Kishore Kumar.
| Rohini Bhatia-Singh | Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes |
October 18, 2007 in Celebrity Talk | Permalink
The Perfect 10 For A Good Marriage VII - Cheerfulness
A cheerful face works wonders to preserve the sweetness of your marriage.
If You're Happy That You're Married - Show It!
In addition to reflecting your happiness and appreciation of your partner, a cheerful face works wonders to preserve the sweetness of your marriage.
My last instalment - on creativity in a marriage - closed saying that there is no point in thinking creatively, if you can't express it with a smile on your face. Truly, there's something special about a smile that completely changes its receiver's attitude. When someone smiles at you, your mind registers an open avenue - for friendship or asking for help or simply exchanging a kindly word or greeting.
If a simple smile, worn by just about anyone you meet can send out such strong signals, imagine how much meaning a smile on the face of your partner can convey. From 'I love you,' to 'I feel for you,' to 'I'm concerned,' or even 'don't worry, be happy - we'll make (solve) it together' - all this can be expressed through a smile.
Smile your way through your darkest hour
So much for so little? That's the beauty of a smile. A genuine smile - not its plastic, sickly sweet version - represents good cheer and true feeling. Cheerfulness is as much synonymous with happiness, as it is with optimism. A partner in good cheer is a far greater source of strength, than one who gets upset when you're down.
It goes without saying that you rely on your better half to be 'better' or stronger when you need the most support. Cheerfulness represents the ability to cope in the face of adversity. It signals, not only to your partner but your immediate and extended family too, your resolve, and your ability to pull your family through hard times.
Lighten up your partners' mood
As Arati discovered, cheerfulness is also an effective means to cool down a post-squabble scenario! Having rowed with her husband Sanjay in the morning, Arati welcomed him home with a small, but genuine smile later in the day.
Besides cooling down the atmosphere, Arati's cheerfulness signalled that she wasn't interested in bringing things to a boil, yet again! Quite the contrary, she wanted to patch up their relation and move on. As Sanjay had expected her to sulk, her effort to reach out to him thawed his anger completely.
Undoubtedly, cheerfulness makes for an easy, light relationship between husband and wife. It may not be apt where a partner makes an earth-shattering (read 'relation shattering') folly, but works wonders in situations that crop up in everyday living.
Balance cheerfulness with aptness
Speaking of aptness, well known English author John Milton is known to have said, "The apt and cheerful conversation of man with woman is the chief and noblest purpose of marriage," and further "Where loving [conversation] cannot be, there can be left of wedlock nothing but the empty husk of an outside matrimony."
Husk symbolizes something dispensable, which is certainly not what you want to reduce your marriage to. Aptness - as expressed during a candid conversation - may be hard to endure. Also, an overdose of cheerfulness - sometimes in an attempt to avoid talking about meaningful matters - can downgrade a marriage to being a relation of blissfully ignorant partners. Balancing aptness and cheerfulness will ensure you make the most of your marriage.
After all, you came together for better or worse. Cheerfulness is a great tool to implement that resolve to stay together, cheerfully!
P.S. A good marriage is all about sustaining genuine, positive emotions. Genuine means sincere. A marriage cannot survive, forget thrive without sincerity - more on this next week.
| Charu Bahri | Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes |
October 18, 2007 in In Focus | Permalink
Backless Blouses Make A Comeback
With the sari; blouses too are becoming the hottest and most wanted garment in women's wardrobes.
With fashion getting bolder and the sari being one of the hottest garments in the female wardrobe, it was bound to happen. The demure blouse has undergone a drastic change and become bold, beaded, and bowed.
Designers are going all out as they snip off sleeves and opt for halter necks. Tie ups in the back that leave the back completely bare except for a few strings are also super popular. Of course, Tagore's bows in the back from the 60s are very trendy too.
Shaaditimes catches up with some actresses and designers who prefer to go bare backed!
| Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes |
October 18, 2007 in Fashion | Permalink
Who Gets Child Custody?
The Biological Father Or The Surrogate Father?
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Siddhartha Shah Siddhartha Shah is a professional Marriage & Family counselor with a practice based in Manhattan. He offers traditional methods of counseling as well as other creative counseling techniques for those who are not located nearby (i.e. telephone, email and instant messaging) Have a question? Click here... |
The Name Game
Raja Manohar asks,
I am married for the past 3 years. For my wife it was a remarriage. Her first marriage was dissolved by the court of law, 6 years ago. We have a daughter who is 12 years old now. In the birth certificate our daughter's name is mentioned with the surname of her biological father, who is remarried now and settled elsewhere. Can you please enlighten me whether I become the father in all ways by virtue of my marriage with my daughter's mother? And what should I do to set all records right, in this regard? Can you please help me?
Dear Raja Manohar,
Firstly all the previous court’s orders / decree will have to be verified and checked wherein your wife has got divorce order from the Hon’ble court along with consent terms if any. One will also have to check as to whether there are any pending applications before any forum for the issues of child custody etc made by her ex-husband.
Only after complying the above mentioned process and verifying the status of earlier orders, you can initiate the process for adopting the child for which you will have to follow the appropriate legal compliances and steps as required for due adoption procedure and process. You may consult an expert lawyer for your proposed further compliances and paper work if required. Hope this should suffice your query in brief.
Christian Marrying Hindu
Robyn Meredith asks,
I am a Canadian Christian who wants to marry a Hindu from Pakistan. We are told that Pakistan has no civil court marriages allowing inter-religious marriage. How can two different religious beliefs marry in Pakistan?
Dear Robyn Meredith,
You will have to abide and follow by the legislation of the country in which you intend to get married as per the proposed existing matrimonial laws of that country. Hope this should suffice your query in brief.
Child Custody
V L Kumar asks,
I am currently in discussions with a lady who has a 3 year old daughter from her 1st marriage. She is not divorced. Her husband left for USA 3 years back and till now nothing is known about him. He wanted his wife to abort the child. Now the mother has taken care of the daughter completely.
I want to ask if I marry her, can I (we) legally prevent the biological father on his rights to his daughter? We do not want him to have even visiting rights. The lady can prove that he did not care for both in last 3 years as he left within 3 months of marriage in March 2004. Looking forward for your expert advice. Thanks and Regards
Dear V L Kumar,
Firstly your friend i.e. the lady will have to apply /seek file a petition for divorce against her husband who has left her and gone away 3 years back. She will have to initiate and file a petition before the family forum situated in the jurisdiction of her place of marriage or at the place where she currently resides. She may also apply for custody of her child.
Only after obtaining a valid order of divorce and custody of child granted by court, you can legally get married to her. Only after complying the above mentioned process and verifying the status of earlier orders, you can initiate the process for adopting the child for which you will have to follow the appropriate legal compliances and steps as required for due adoption procedure and process. You may consult an expert lawyer for your proposed further compliances and paper work if required. Hope this should suffice your query in brief.
Registering Marriage
Yagnesh Chauhan asks,
I am a bachelor and want to know that after marriage how should I register my marriage and get the marriage certificate. Please guide me in detail.
Dear Yagnesh Chauhan,
Presuming that you are getting married as per the customary rituals and rites, after the solemnization of your marriage, you will have to obtain a marriage registration form from the office of Registrar of Marriages situated in the jurisdiction of your place of marriage or where you reside. Fill in all the details pertaining to you and your spouse and get it signed from the priest/pundit who has performed your marriage along with three witnesses and their details.
You will have to annex you and your spouse’s photograph, the residence proof and age proof, the three witnesses will have to be present along with their residence proof during the registration of your marriage. The said duly completed form shall be submitted to the Registrar of Marriages who shall then complete the formalities and register your marriage.
OR
You may get married to your proposed spouse by way of a registered marriage for which you and your proposed spouse will have to complete some legal formalities. A Notice of marriage is to be given by both the parties. It has to be given to the marriage officer of the district where one of the parties has resided for a period of not less than 30 days immediately preceding the date on which such notice is given. In the notice, the names, the status (unmarried, widow/widower or divorcee), ages and dwelling place of both the parties are to be stated. The length of residence and the permanent dwelling (if the present dwelling place is not a permanent residence) are also to be stated.
The offices of marriage officer shall publish the said Notice by affixing a copy thereof to some conspicuous place in his office and after the expiration of 30 days from the date on which the Notice of an intended marriage has been published, no objections have been received concerning the said intended marriage, the marriage officer shall solemnize the said marriage.
Solemnization of marriage: Before a marriage can actually be solemnized, both the parties and three witnesses are required to file a declaration form issued by the marriage officer. The declaration to be signed and issued by the bride and the bridegroom should contain:
- The status of the bride (or bridegroom as the case may be) at the time of marriage i.e. whether he or she is unmarried, divorce or widow/widower, the age.
- A statement that he or she is not related to the other within the degrees of prohibited relationship. Both of you also need to get:
- Passport or any document showing your nationality and proof of residence.
- Any document showing your proof of birth and age, viz birth certificate or school leaving certificate.
- A declaratory affidavit duly notarised stating your current matrimonial status and also providing more information with regards your domicile, age and the place of your permanent residence.
- And also a single document showing the residential proof & status of each witness i.e. passport or ration card or any other property document.
Now you may complete the said procedure at the office of marriage registrar at the jurisdiction of the place where you or your proposed spouse is residing.
Divorce Case Tenure
NA asks,
What is the time frame within which a divorce has to be granted in India if: The marriage has lasted less than 5 months and period of separation is more than 6 years. If the divorce case pending for almost 6 years, is there any section or an old case under which divorce can be granted? If the wife has been going against assurance given by her to the Supreme Court and not abiding to the Supreme Court order, what should the husband do? Is there any way in which the Supreme Court can call the case to the Supreme Court in Delhi and have it heard?
Dear NA,
As per the limited facts narrated by you, firstly there is no fixed time frame within which a divorce can be granted, it totally depends upon the circumstances and appropriate processes initiated before the court of law, court would definitely try and lead the evidence as per the grounds on which divorce is filed and the circumstances of the case as initiated.
As you have mentioned in your query that your divorce is pending, you may take out an application of expeditious before the hon’ble forum. And as regards your query if there is any order passed by the Supreme Court, which has not been abided, you may initiate and file for contempt proceedings for not abiding the said order. You may consult an expert divorce lawyer for your further appropriate compliances if required. Hope this suffices your query in brief.
Siddhartha Shah will answer your queries. Ask now!
October 18, 2007 in Expert Advice | Permalink
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Tushar Guha Dr. Tushar Guha, MD Nrityanjali - the Institute of Performing Arts, Personality Development and Management Services, is a practicing Psychologist, Counsellor, Management Trainer and Consultant. Have a question? Click here... |
Dilemma
Pooja asks,
My would be husband wants me to work, but I want to spend some time at home. What do I do? Please help.
Dear Pooja,
Please try talking to him with a lot of understanding. Let it not reflect as an egoistic issue. Be a little diplomatic and sentimental. Assure him that you will take up a job a little later. Also prepare yourself mentally that you have to work. It all depends on you, how you handle the issue. You can definitely convince him. Give a genuine try.
Shy guy
Sandeep asks,
I am getting married soon, but till now I am unable to express my feelings in front of girls. I want to postpone my marriage because, whenever I talk to any girl I become nervous; my body becomes very cold and some times my hands shiver. What should I do to control these things?
Dear Sandeep,
There are a number of issues that we need to address. This is an open forum and I need some confidential information to offer correct guidance. Anyways, keep meeting your fiancée. Begin your conversation with common interests, likes and dislikes, family, movies etc. If you are good at writing, then express your feelings through your writing. Please try and mix with her, go to movies, food joints etc. Gradually you will feel comfortable.
Overlooked by colleagues
Pinky asks,
I have an attractive personality and am doing my job well. My seniors too are impressed with my work. But I find that my colleagues are ignoring me or are jealous of me. Being of a reserved nature, I find it difficult to make friends? What do I do?
Dear Pinky,
You have identified your problem. So now address it. You have to be friendly, begin with a warm smile and wishing people. Enquire about others. You have to make an effort. You have rightly pointed out about jealousy and it will grow. Contain it now with your warmth and communication. You have to do it.
Communication problems
Vineeta asks,
I am 30 yrs old. I met with a road accident when I was 22 and suffered brain injury. I am all right now but lack in communication skills, which mars my personality and confidence. I am married and have a son. But due to my lack in communication my husband always avoids to take me to his friends.Please help me. I am feeling very depressed.
Dear Vineeta,
Don't loose heart. Most of us suffer a lot of pain. May be you do not communicate like others, so what? I am sure your husband loves you and please do not feel that he avoids you because of your so-called lack of communication skills. Please take interest in your life, your son and your other interests. Join some classes like personality development or grooming or even hobby classes. Try to meet a counsellor, just to have a chat. If you are in Mumbai, you can contact me.
Tushar Guha will answer your queries. Ask now!
October 18, 2007 in Expert Opinion | Permalink
