Fropper.com - The Lounge: November 2008

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November 25, 2008

Anchal Kumar: Model Extraordinaire

Anchal Kumar On love, jealousy and fashion...

Eight years is a long time in any industry and in the Fashion industry it can add up to decades if you're one of India's top super-models. Anchal Kumar can boast of working with the elite in the Fashion industry and has completed countless television ads, and numerous runway shows. The youngest of four girls, Anchal grew up in a comfortable upper middle class life-style in upscale Mumbai.

Upon first meeting she re-defines one's epitome of beauty as she displays a keen intellectual acumen, a clean spirit and a humorous joie de vivre. Shaaditimes caught up with the model in between her hectic schedule following a whirlwind of Fashion shows at LFW in Mumbai last week, and a stint in Madhur Bandharkar's magnum opus ''Fashion''.

Anchal loves life, love, and the love of life.

On love...
''Basically it is a commitment of trust and unconditional respect towards the other. If one feels the same at home as you do when you're one with The One, then no individual or individuals can divide you and your love.''

On lust...
An actual physical attraction of bodies, souls and hearts. At first glance - a simple infatuation.

On envy...
Is different in each individual's vocabulary, and is subject to interpretation as each individual looks at both sides of envy. Envy can bring out the best in you and can also be one's greatest downfall as it can eat away at your emotions if you're always looking over the fence to see where the grass is greener.

On jealousy...
Yes, it does exist everywhere especially for people vying for attention. It can exist between friends, colleagues... it depends on you on how you decide to react or not to react to the situation. It's in every part of this world and something we all have to live with.

On 'Fashion' the movie. What's it like to step off the ramp onto the big screen?
"It was wonderful to work in such a brilliant movie as Fashion especially with Priyanka (Chopra). We were working together after many years as we both started our modelling careers around the same time," she remembers. And adds, "Priyanka was really sweet. She is still down to earth and hasn't changed in any way. She met me well."

On a model's view of a woman's beauty. Is it more than skin deep?
According to Anchal, "Beauty is as individual as the one that is trying to find, notice, accept, or appreciate another's beauty." She observes, "I think there is a stereo-type given to models which isn't accurate. Models are people and usually come from good backgrounds. I think because the career is short-lived, glamorous and lucrative, people forget that many models are educated and intelligent in their own way."

She continues, "Beauty can not be assessed according to just physical traits... like whether you have long hair, or are fair, or have a luscious body. All of these do add up to the oomph quotient but do not necessarily add up to that emotional quotient which is just as important in the formula for beauty," believes Anchal.

She concludes, "I think even the time you're born is important. I grew up in the world of computers and my outlook on life is totally different from my mother's who just had a typewriter. Things are perhaps easier for someone of my generation, but paradoxically there are different types of challenges. I think there is a different assessment of success today as opposed to previous generations. You can be an artist and be intelligent. You don't need to be a rocket scientist," she laughs. "Thus you can be tall, thin, beautiful, and intelligent. I believe a woman can represent all things."

On physical beauty. Anchal's idea of a perfect woman?
"Physically, I think body type really isn't that important. I do believe having a clear complexion is important. A woman that needs no make-up to me is appreciated. Also I believe a good personality in knowing how to carry yourself with confidence and poise is equally important in all areas of your life."

Fav. romantic movie...
Bollywood: Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander
Hollywood: P.S. I love you

Fav. vacation...
Mauritus

Fav. Pick up Line...
Can't think of one

Fav. Day...
Walking on the beach in Mauritius. Spending the day in my space enjoying drinks and getting a nice sun-tan.

Fav. Restaurant...
Wasabi, Taj, Mumbai and Kao in NY

Fav. Exercise...
Swimming. I love sports... but due to a hectic schedule only find time to swim. Also I love the sea. I also enjoy yoga and the overall sense of well-being that one hour gives me each day. Going to the Gym is claustrophobic. I enjoy the fresh air. I think there is nothing like ending your day with a brisk walk in the Park.

Fav. Romantic Book...
Gone with the Wind

Fav. Bollywood Hero...
Hrithik Roshan

Fav. Hollywood Hero...
Keanu Reeves

Fav. Bollywood Star...
Priyanka Chopra

Anchal also believes that in any career one has to have one's head firmly pressed on one's shoulders. "You see a lot of girls with attitude," she observes. "And there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. I think a woman has to speak well, but she should also not be over-confident. In modelling sometimes being shy or introverted can be confused for being snooty." She clarifies, "Arrogance is not reserved to just any one single industry."

What is most important...?
Being kind and caring

A model she admires...
Jesse Randhawa because she is kind and caring and has a wonderful confidence and poise. She is good looking, well-dressed and she gets along with all around her.

On emotion and modelling...
Well, a woman can have all the ingredients of success, but the true mettle of a woman is how she crumbles under pressure. This is something they don't teach you about. How to handle real life situations? You really don't know until you're living through the moment how difficult life can be and whether you succumb to outside influences or pull along. A woman of substance isn't someone who seems to be in the know; she is the one that gets along despite all the knowing.

On spontaneity...
To me spontaneity and spirituality go hand-in-hand. They aren't some thing to be displayed or paraded or showed off. People that are spiritual tend to be gentle and you can see it in their aura. They bring a peace of mind and tend to have others gravitate towards them.

Rohini Bhatia-Singh

Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes

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November 25, 2008 in Celebrity Talk | Permalink

Do Your Funny Bones Match?

Do Your Funny Bones Match? Humour doesn't mean funny. It actually means a 'state of mind' or 'inclination.

Do Your Funny Bones Match? Rule of thumb - Don't make fun of your beau

You may never have thought of it, but it's important for couples to share a sense of humour.

Most people relate 'humour' to 'funny'. So anything humorous becomes a funny issue. Never something sad.

However, in Sheena's case, misplaced humour turned out to be the cause for her broken engagement.

When humour caused disaster...

The whole idea of her sense of humour being the leading reason for her ex-fiancée Vinod to break up with her came across as so incredulous that it took a long time to sink in.

Sitting sobbing by the side of her best friend, she shared her story in an attempt to make sense of the sorry turn of events - ''When we sat with a counsellor,'' she said ''Vinod almost spewed fire. He spoke of how sarky I was and said I had no consideration for his feelings. I can't believe this is the same guy who proposed to me so lovingly just eight months ago.''

Sheena thought Vinod had no funny bone and was just not appreciative of her witty humour and attempts to lighten things up.

Do you understand the meaning of humour?

''He's too serious'' she lamented.

Was Sheena right, or has she misunderstood the very essence of the word 'humour' and more, the role it plays in our lives?

Her friend thought so, and tried to point out where she believed Sheena had gone wrong. ''Humour, my dear, doesn't mean funny. It actually means a 'state of mind' or 'inclination'. Apply that to funny and it means that we all have our own perception of what we think is laughable. So - while your approach to humour is to mock whatever you think is beneath you, Vinod prefers more innocent slapstick humour directed at none in particular'' she explained.

"That's not all. You are in your mid-thirties, very much a woman of the world, financially independent, socially secure and confident of your looks. Your success has made you somewhat sarcastic when you comment on laggards in either the work sphere, or those with a poor fashion sense or in their body shape or whatever. And since these comments form the bulk of the jokes you make, and Vinod is not doing as well as you are, he grew to feel intimidated by you" she added.

Rule of thumb - Don't make fun of your beau

"But I've never thought of Vinod as a loser. He is doing well for himself. And my jokes are clever - all my friends say so," interjected Sheena.

"True. Yet he began wondering what would happen ten years down the line, if the gap between your success and his grew still further. He'd be the constant butt of your jokes. And as for your jokes, they may be witty, but they also border on being sarky. It's just that unlike family members or would-be family, your close friends never feel any pressure to compete with you. But Vinod probably threw his hands up because he realized he had let himself in for a lifetime of subjugation," opined her friend.

Humour your man/woman

As Sheena introspected over the next few weeks, she realized this was true. She was over-confident and probably, had not realized that Vinod was overly sensitive. She wished that he had cautioned her, or even told her to lay off making fun of him, but as her friend pointed out - "Humour also means to 'indulge someone'. When you are in a relationship, this means understanding what gives each other happiness and offering that. It doesn't mean to make fun of your partner. This may sound hurtful, but you probably did the opposite of that and scared away Vinod."

Although Sheena rued her misjudgement of the situation, she appreciated the need for a couple to share a sense of humour all the more. "My jokes must have really put off Vinod," she mused. "Vinod is a kindly soul, slower than me but more loving. More the Tom & Jerry or Charlie Chaplin humour kind!"

In other words, Sheena had learnt a valuable lesson - not to laugh at anyone else's expense, as this may be hurtful to the target. In her case, it cost her, her fiancée and caused her a lot of heartache.

Nevertheless, her never-say-die attitude has made her thankful to have understood where she went wrong. "Next time, I'll be more considerate of my partner," she says.

Charu Bahri

Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes

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November 25, 2008 in Relationship Issues | Permalink

The Best Of Bridal Asia 2008

The Best Of Bridal Asia 2008 The haute couture fashion by India's leading names in bridal design.

BRIDAL ASIA, one of the most eagerly awaited and sought after destinations for festive and bridal shopping, celebrates its tenth anniversary this year with two evenings of haute couture fashion by India's leading names in bridal design, on the 4th and 5th October 2008 at the Hyatt Regency, New Delhi.

The evening of 4th October saw bridal finery by couturiers Tarun Tahiliani, Shane & Falguni Peacock and Ritu Beri. Sub-continental bridal fashion was showcased by Honey Waqar of Pakistan and Maheen Khan of Bangladesh, both of whom are exclusively showing their collections only at Bridal Asia in India. Adding luxurious shimmer to Ritu Beri's bridal ensembles were jewels by Amrapali and to the Peacock's line was Ghanasingh's jewellery.

5th October was also a soiree of fashion with shows by stalwarts Pallavi Jaikishan, Meera & Muzaffar Ali, Raghavendra Rathore, Sabyasachi and Bhairavi Jaikishan. Queenie Dhody's jewels beautifully complemented Pallavi's bridal couture creations while Alpana Gujral's precious baubles with Meera & Muzaffar Ali's designs created sheer magic on the ramp! Shital Bajaj's jewellery added the glitterati to the Bhairavi's creations.

The ethereal Indian bride was beautifully showcased in various forms and design styles with each ensemble more striking than the last and almost every Indian technique being presented in a grand amalgamation of tradition, style, colors with modern day silhouettes and forms. An apt celebration of the Great Indian Wedding breathtakingly captured over two elegant evenings of drama and poetry on the ramp!!

Bridal Asia turns Ten in Style!
While India's leading models elegantly walked down the ramp for Bridal Asia, upping the occidental glam quotient were models Mehreen Syed and Nadia Hussain from Pakistan. Asha Kochhar and Harmeet Bajaj lent their expertise in choreography to make each presentation a stunning showcase of the myriads moods of the modern Indian bride while the event has been decorated by MAPSOR.

Bridal couture has never been more breathtakingly showcased than at the Bridal Asia's fashion evenings as a preview to the main exhibition. 10 years of offering design excellence has made Bridal Asia the most holistic and luxurious platform for designers to showcase their festive best - Inimitable in content, prolific in participation and exclusive in its offering.

Says Divya Gurwara, the charming, elegant host for the fashion soiree, "Bridal Asia has always been an offering from the heart. It has grown by leaps and bounds over the last ten years. However, what remains constant is our dedication to quality and exclusivity. Many a bridal show has come and gone, yet we remain committed to our philosophy of making Bridal Asia bigger, more beautiful and yet cutting edge in its design offering. As we turn ten this year, I feel humbled and yet proud of our achievement in making Bridal Asia one of the foremost platforms chosen by the best names of the Indian design world to launch their bridal designs, year after year!"

Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes

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November 25, 2008 in Fashion | Permalink

Make Your Next Trip A Camping Adventure

Make Your Next Trip A Camping Adventure A camping holiday is the perfect getaway, which allows you to bond with your family.

Make Your Next Trip A Camping Adventure Picture this scenery: brilliant moonlight washing down on you and the stars twinkling brightly in the sky. The mellow flicker of campfires soothing you and the enticing scent of hot chocolate tickling your senses. The happy cries of your kids as they indulge in activities which they are otherwise not allowed. Yes, all this and more is what a camping trip is all about!

A camping holiday is the perfect getaway, which allows you to bond with your family while having the time of your life.

Planning A Camping Trip

Here's what you need to know when planning an exciting camping adventure:

Location: The location is perhaps the most important decision about this kind of trip. The first thing you need to decide is how far you want to go. Do you want to be within few hours from your home or do you want to go further for an extended holiday. Once you decide that, you have to make a shortlist of the camping grounds available to you. Great camping regions in India include Rajasthan, Rishikesh, Kerala, Himachal Pradesh, and Uttaranchal.

Specific camp sites in these regions are the hilly areas of Garhwal and Kumaon, sand dunes in Rajasthan, the backwaters of Kerala, Jim Corbett National Park, Chilla, Kaudilya, and Jaipur Pushkar.
Camping gear: If you leave something behind, you will have to do without it. The essential items that you have to pack include camping tent, sleeping bags, utensils for cooking, lantern, match boxes, toilet paper, folding chairs, torch, extra batteries, mosquito repellents to name a few.

Other than these essential items, you also have to make sure that your personal camping gear is in order. This includes - outdoor camping clothes, inner clothes (always carry a few extra pairs), comfortable pair of shoes, extra socks, sun glasses, and your personal toiletries. If space permits, you can also carry your ipods, a few board games, and a deck of cards. Although there will be plenty of activities to occupy you at a camping trip, it never hurts to have these items along too.
Camping activities: The usual activities that people enjoy during their camping adventures are trekking, white water rafting, swimming, fishing, kayaking, hiking, canoeing, cycling etc. However, not all camp sites offer all these activities. Thus, before you choose your camp site, you should send out for their brochures so that you can see what activities they provide you and then make your choice accordingly.

During The Camping Trip

If your camping adventure includes children, there are some precautions that you need to take to ensure that your children are safe. Here are some things to keep in mind:

If you do not know the camp site or if you're going to an unexplored one, it is best to hire a guide to show you around for the first few days at least.
Always keep your toddlers or younger children within eyesight. Older kids can be allowed to have some freedom, but they should always be within hearing distance. You should also earmark a location where children should go to in case they get lost or are distanced from the group. Give each child a whistle which they can use to call for help if required.
Dress the children in layers as it can get cold very fast at camping sites, especially if they are at high altitudes. If it is not so cold, they can simply remove the outer layers of clothing.
Dispose off all waste properly in dustbins and other allocated spots and also teach your children to do the same.

With a little respect for the outdoors and a great sense of adventure, you can ensure that your camping trip turns out to be the vacation of a lifetime.

Kavita Harlalka

Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes

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November 25, 2008 in In Focus | Permalink

Mineral Water Can Reduce Dryness Of Hair

Mineral Water Can Reduce Dryness Of Hair Chlorinated water can cause severe damage to your hair. It is best to wash your hair with mineral water.

Dr. Sonal and Apoorva Shah
India's First Certified Trichologists. The official hair care experts for the Miss India contests.
Have a question? Click here...

Cause Of Frizziness

Teena asks,
I have a frizzy hair, black in colour and sometimes tend to use straightener to make it look silky. I want to know how to make your hair silky and smooth naturally without using straightener / hot irons?
Dear Teena,
No medications can make your hair silky if you have a frizzy hair. There would be some external factor causing frizziness - it could be the dry climate or it could be use of some chemicals. So I would like you to take good intake of water and avoid products that contain strong chemicals.

Bumps On Scalp

Josie asks,
I have a 2 1/2 yrs old granddaughter with a dry scalp. It started about 3 months ago. We have been using the same shampoo since she was born. She also has bumps on her scalp. Can this be from the shampoo?
Dear Josie,
Normally shampoo is not known to cause such bumps on scalp. However, I recommend you to use a delicate shampoo like Johnson & Johnson. At the same time I would like you to visit your doctor to rule out this disorder from the scalp.

Chlorine Damages Hair

Rashmeet asks,
I am living in a hostel where the chlorine content in water is too much. It tastes salty. I am aware that chlorine damages the hair. But how can one protect hair if there is no other source of water? What kind of shampoos one can use? I am experiencing hair fall and dry frizzy hair. It’s only after shifting to this place that it has started.
Dear Rashmeet,
Chlorine definitely damages the hair and its better to stay away from things that can damage, I would like you to wash your hair with mineral water and perhaps that will reduce the dryness & frizz of the hair.

Dr. Sonal and Apoorva Shah will answer your queries. Ask now!

Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes

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November 25, 2008 in Expert Advice | Permalink

November 13, 2008

Bollywood's Biggest Breakups

Bollywood's Biggest Breakups Bollywood breakups, some of which have been shocking and some highly predictable!

Making a relationship work does take a lot of effort. Yes, if you're in love with your partner, things do get a lot easier. Even so, you have to put in a lot of time and energy into your relationship to keep it on solid ground.

In the face of work pressures and everyday stresses of life, even the most lovey-dovey of all couples can find themselves on shaky ground as far as their relationships go. So is it any wonder that our Bollywood stars too have a tough time maintaining their relationships?

The constant media focus into their personal lives, alleged link ups with co-stars, not being able to stay connected because of hectic film schedules - are all these factors the reason why so many breakups abound in Bollywood?

Click Here To View Bollywood's Biggest Breakups of all times

Whatever the reason, over the years we have seen many high profile Bollywood breakups, some of which have literally been shocking and some highly predictable!

Some couples maintained a dignified silence and let the gossip after their breakup die a natural death, whereas some couples used the media to air their dirty linen and perhaps get their partners off their backs!

Here's a look at Bollywood's Biggest Breakups of all times.

Ruchi Agarwal

Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes

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November 13, 2008 in Celebration | Permalink

Take Me As I Am?

Take Me As I Am? Take me as I am' or 'You inspire me to be a better person' - which approach works better?

Take Me As I Am? 'Take me as I am' or 'You inspire me to be a better person' - which approach works better in a relationship?

It is said that your best relationships are those that bring out the best in you. Take that a notch higher and it would mean - those relationships that inspire you to be a better person.

Yet as we know, the longevity of friendships, which are genuine heartfelt commitments, is often attributed to the fact that we can be ourselves in the company of friends, with no strings attached to behave in a certain (read 'goody good') manner.

If you put together these two very real observations, it seems to suggest that our friendships can't be counted as the best relationships we enjoy. But this isn't true.

The way of friends

'Accept me for what I am' - is an unspoken condition we send out when interacting with a potential friend. And yet, when minds click and a friendship blossoms, we become open to accepting constructive criticism, albeit delivered in fancy wrapping, from our friends.

''My best friends are not only my confidantes because I know they love me for what I am, but also because they listen to my familial or work problems impartially and dole out good suggestions,'' says Nina. Suggestions, she explains that often propose she behave (or not) in a certain fashion. ''It's just that they don't expect me to do or not do certain things, so being in their company is a pleasure as it takes a huge load of living up to expectations off my mind,'' she adds.

This brings us to ask - aren't partners ideally meant to be friends first and lovers only thereafter? If so, shouldn't a partner adopt the same attitude towards a friend-cum-lover?

A give and take relationship

''My hubby is the best because he accepts me as I am, and encourages me to follow my dreams,'' shares Sneha.

Two years back, Sneha launched a drive to collect funds to start a charity to rehabilitate street children. She has no kids of her own. She doesn't want any. While Mahesh and she had agreed on this subject before they married, Sneha never imagined that she would have the freedom to pursue her dream. Not because she was uncertain of Mahesh's appreciation for her idea, but simply because she worked as a software programmer and they needed two incomes to run their household.

But after a few promotions and salary raises, as soon as Mahesh felt that he could provide for all their needs as well as set aside some money as savings, he suggested Sneha get cracking on her dream.

Inspire good behaviour

The impact of Mahesh's magnanimous behaviour on Sneha is interesting - "He makes me want to do things for him, even if it's changing my habits that irritate him, simply because he has given me so much happiness. It's a give and take relationship, I guess," she says.

A relationship based on give and take is what a twosome really is. In fact, if like friends, partners can offer their spouses the space to be themselves and evolve at their own pace and in their own way, then the likelihood of inspiring their best behaviour in return is very high.

But the crux lies in first giving and then receiving! It doesn't work the other way around. Even in friendships, friends accept each other as they are, and only much later when the friendship is well entrenched in their minds and hearts, do they venture suggestions, and that too, if and only if asked.

Patience pays, as does love and understanding

In order for your relationship to grow in the right direction, you need patience and love to accept your partner as he or she is. Unlike Nitin, you shouldn't try and change your wife as soon as you discover her first flaw post marriage!

Nitin believed Vandana had it in her to hold a higher position at work, so he wanted her to be more aggressive in her office.

But that just wasn't the kind of person Vandana was. And Nitin's constant prompts for her to be forceful were very irritating. "Gosh, why can't you just let me be? I don't like being aggressive as I know I will get credit for my good work sooner or later," she'd snap back. Then not wanting to seem rude, she'd plead, "All in good time, Nitin, there is no point in rushing my promotion. Please have patience."

All in good time - yes, that is what Nitin and many other husbands and wives need to learn. In good time, you'll hopefully be able to inspire each other. Until then, enjoy your partner as s/he is, quirks included!

Charu Bahri

Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes

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November 13, 2008 in Relationship Issues | Permalink

Bipasha Becomes A Bride

Bipasha Becomes A Bride Wearing the show stopper, she looked lovely in an orange and pink lehenga.

Resplendent in an orange lehenga, Bong bombshell Bipasha Basu became a bride for designer Maheka Mirpuri. Mirpuri launched her latest bridal-wear collection at the Taj President, Mumbai on 3rd October 2008.

Mirpuri is hugely popular for her bridal designs and her latest bridal collection was as luscious as can be expected from one of India's top designers. Wearing the show stopper, Bipasha looked lovely in an orange and pink lehenga. The blouse was single shouldered with a huge flower accessorizing it. The back of the blouse was gorgeously held together by stonework. Maheka herself looked beautiful in an off-white, pink and purple outfit.

View Maheka Mirpuri's latest bridal collection
Bollywood Divas On The Ramp

While Bips stole the show on the ramp, off the ramp all lights were focused on Manisha Koirala. The lady who rarely makes an appearance (onscreen and offscreen!) these days was seen in the front row at the show. She continues to be as hideously dressed as ever. Also spotted were Suman Ranganathan, Nisha Jamwal, Dolly Thakur, Anjala Zaveri, Esther Daswani.

View Maheka Mirpuri's latest bridal collection.

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Bollywood Divas On The Ramp
Shilpa Shetty Walks For Tarun

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November 13, 2008 in Fashion | Permalink

Stand Up For Child Rights

Stand Up For Child Rights Come forth and support a cause - stand up for what is right.

Stand Up For Child Rights Imagine a country. Call it India, if you will. Yesterday, 10,000 Indians died from entirely preventable causes.

As many died the day before.

And the previous day.

And so on as long as anyone can remember. What do you think might happen in this imaginary land? Would the situation be declared a national calamity? Would high-powered committees work late into the night thinking up strategies to deal with the crisis? Would the media be covering any other news?

Yet 10,000 children die every single day in India. More than in any tsunami, flood, earthquake, famine or war. Reports released in the past few months reveal that:

46% of children in India are underweight, 38% stunted and 19% wasted... their fate decided even before they turn three. [National Family Health Survey, 2007]
53% children in India reported having faced one or more forms of sexual abuse. [Ministry of Women and Child Development, 2007]
There are 17 million child laborers in India. [Government of India Census, 2001]
180 out of 581 districts in India have seen primary school enrolments fall. [DISE, compiled by NUEPA]
88,000 schools (nearly 8%) in India still do not have a blackboard in their classes. [2007 Survey by HRD Ministry, UNICEF and NEUPA]

These statistics are shocking, especially in the light of recent GDP growth. The reality of India 60 years after independence is that millions of children have their very survival threatened on a daily basis - malnutrition, illiteracy, child labor, preventable diseases, abuse and exploitation. We all know that children do not live in isolation - they belong to families, communities and society at large. They are always the most vulnerable victims of any situation, be it poverty, natural and man-made disasters, displacement, social biases and prejudices

Why are we so easily able to ignore this crisis engulfing our children? Is it because they are children? Or because we don't believe their situation can really change? Or because they can't vote? Or because we weren't really serious when we promised them their rights - to survival, development, protection and participation?

Yes - these rights were promised to our children in 1947 and enshrined in the Indian Constitution. And reiterated in 1992 when India signed the United Nations Convention for the Rights of Children.

The persistence of these problems, their scale and severity call for more than philanthropic responses. At CRY America, we've learned that permanent change is possible only when children, their parents and communities are informed about their rights and engage with their local government bodies to address the root causes of their problems. Based on this, we've evolved our philosophy of community mobilization. We believe that the 'child rights' approach is the most effective way to ensure sustainable change, increase awareness and enlist greater support for children, as opposed to the 'relief' approach which treats children as objects of sympathy.

CRY America and CRY have witnessed this approach work in thousands of rural, tribal and slum communities across India. In just over 4 years, CRY America has transformed the lives of more than 80,000 children by supporting 16 not-for-profit organizations in India and the US. Thanks to the organization's emphasis on child rights, families now have viable livelihoods, State schools and health centers are functioning and girls, whose very existence was threatened by infanticide and neglect, have now become the flag bearers of their communities. This has been achieved by building awareness about child rights, establishing their linkage to the urgent issues of livelihood that bedevil parents and mobilizing whole communities to overcome their many differences in the interests of their children.

Everything that has been achieved thus far has been made possible because of the committed support of hundreds of committed volunteers across 22 US cities and thousands of donors across the USA who believed that "Change is possible, because I'll make it possible."

So we know it's possible. But if this transformation has to go beyond a few thousand communities, then we need to do more. In fact, we have a historic opportunity to do much more. To use our new-found economic success to build a future that is not just prosperous for a few, but secure for all children.

But doing so on any significant scale will require at least 4 things to happen:

First, we must start seeing children as citizens with rights as inviolate as our own, rather than objects of charity.
Second, their interests must become the centerpiece and touchstone of policy, be it at the level of the State, the organizations we work in, even within our neighborhoods and families. Their well-being must become the standard by which we measure our success.
Third, those policies and the everyday choices we make, must seek to address the root causes of children's problems not just their superficial symptoms.
Finally, we must all - as parents, teachers, investors, neighbors, businesspersons, lawyers, consumers, activists, students, judges, administrators, journalists and politicians alike - overcome our apathy, cynicism and sheer inertia and reconfigure our priorities to put children first.

Do visit our website www.america.cry.org to know more or e-mail me at shefali.sunderlal@cryamerica.org if you have any questions or comments on child rights.

Please stand up for what is right - stand up for child rights.

Shefali Sunderlal,
President, CRY America

Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes

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November 13, 2008 in In Focus | Permalink

Is Marriage Mandatory In Life?

Is Marriage Mandatory In Life? Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success in life.

Divya Chugh
A renowned tarot expert specializing in relationship issues. She excels in ''Compatibility Counseling''. She has immense experience relating with the problems of professionals, youth, students and families. She gives guidance to all kind of working professionals.
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Stress And Depression

Komal asks,
My birth date is 30/07/1962 at 05.45am. I am still single. My life is very much a struggle. Now I am fed up of this life. Always unsuccessful in love!
Dear Komal,
Marriage delays in our Indian culture bring lots of depression with a state of mind where a person feels deprived, helpless and insecure. It results in depression means either getting what one does not want, or not getting what one wants. But if feeling dejected and depressed is one part of the reality, the presence of strength and resilience in facing life is the other side.

There are numerous instances, recorded or unrecorded, in the lives of a person, which point to this uncommon degree of courage, calmness and enthusiasm even in the face of most trying conditions. We often wonder at these strength and ask: Is it possible? For us? The difficulty comes when we refuse to learn and instead cling to pain. That is how so many people go on privately fondling their painful memories, nurturing resentments, and planning to set 'others' right, not realizing that what must be set right is within and not without.

Please don't let your self down by negative thinking. Being a strong 'Leo / magician soul' you should use your "charm," persuasion, and whatever resource is available, and then let the Cosmic Forces direct your course or reveal what is hidden. In time, you will see that your prayers have been answered.

Advice: Pain plays the role of a teacher, educating and guiding us towards higher states of being. Wear 2 mukhi and 6 mukhi Rudraksh together.

Handling Difficult Relationships

Himani Mehta asks,
My name is Himani Mehta, 02/11/69 at 04.14 am, Mumbai and my fiancée's name is Chitrang Mehta, 06/11/73 at 11.15 pm, Mumbai.
We have been engaged since 19/08/2007 and have been looking at tying the knot soon, but unfortunately, we had to deal with either financial or family problems most of the time. This has been keeping the wedding at bay. This has unfortunately given rise to ugly fights, misunderstanding, arguments and its just leaving a bad taste in our mouth.
I would like to know, will we ever get married and if we do will it be worth it?
Dear Himani,
Your partnership is an intense one, and you are likely to become very attached or obsessed with each other. Both of you are also prone to be possessive about anyone that you give your love to. This relationship could easily lead to marriage but like most lasting, important relationships, yours will have its share of difficult times, and you both seem to thrive on passionate, tempestuous interactions. Stormy fights and sizzling reunions may typify your relationship.

You both love intensely and you hate with equal ferocity, so your relationship is likely to be either deeply satisfying or very destructive to you both; there is no middle ground for the two of you! Unfortunately present cards are not in favor of marriage and it's because of Chitrang's over expectations from life before time. Better give second thought or seriously work on improving compatibility by ignoring worries and over expectations. Take care.

Advice: Try to be more open when dealing with relationships. Don't let your worries or emotions build up so much that you tend to drop a bomb on your partner. It can really be hurtful.

Questions On Marital Issues

Kavita asks,
When will I get married? Will I get married to the person I'm in love with. I'm facing problems in handling my family. When will they be resolved? My date of birth is 14/02/1984, at 12.03 pm and his 30/09/1983, at 10.35 pm.
Dear Kavita,
Your Aquarian / high priestess love of all mankind will spark your Libran boy friend to go out there and change the world in both small and large ways. Friendly and sociable, these two common factors will bring out the best in each other. Both of you will share many other interests to make for an exciting affair and a long lasting marriage. Little patience of 8 months more will bring you all happiness. By the time all family members will be convinced for this marriage. The month of May and June 2009 is the best time for your marriage. My blessings to both of you.

Advice: Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.

Unconditional Love

Saheer asks,
My name is Saheer. I am Muslim by religion and I was born on 05/05/1967. I am in love with my Hindu girl Anasuya who was born in December 1964. I want to marry her as soon as possible. Please say when can we do so?
Dear Saheer,
I must appreciate your 'unconditional love' for Anasuya. You are a sympathetic and kind person, generous with personal and material resources. Wisdom, and understanding are the cornerstones of your life, and these define your approach to life in general. Your extraordinary ability to understand the problems of others is forcing you to enter in this relationship. This year of 2008 is good as far as marriage is concerned. But sorry dear! I cannot see a life time commitment in your cards. You will not be fulfilled in your relationship because it is either nonproductive or dissatisfying at a very deep level. Both of you will have to work hard for marital life. My loving wises to both of you.

Advice: It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.

Life Partner

Amit asks,
I am Amit Asamwar, date of birth 16/05/1981 at 02:05 am, Ulhasnagar (Dist-Thane). My mother's name is Shobha S Asamwar. I want to know when I will get married and to whom?
Dear Amit,
A lovely question from a 'knight of coins'. You are enjoying your life but your strong determination and sense of purpose is already marked for success. You are motivated, ambitious and a strong worker. You will get married next year i.e. 2009. She will be a down-to-earth girl. She will prove to be an excellent friend or business partner too who is steadfast and loyal. She will be highly creative and attractive girl. Prefer a working and educated girl. All the best.

Advice: Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.

Divya Chugh will answer your queries. Ask now!

Content Courtesy ShaadiTimes

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